Monday, November 06, 2006

Wow, Am I Attached



I thought it would be easier. Funny how naturally simple and painless detachment sounds late at night when I'm reading in my warm bed, my belly full, no kids clamoring for my attention, no work to do, no distractions calling my name.

I'm actually finding myself swinging in the other direction, eating more junk food, drinking more caffeine, listening to more music and watching more tv as I try to detach myself from these things. It's as if my spirit is beginning to understand the radical fullness of sacrifice God calls me to - and the things of the world are thus highlighted, standing out in bold relief, looming large before me.

Another possibility is that the enemy sees my pathetic attempts at holiness and wants to smack me down with temptations. I have to be easy on myself and remember that I can't pull myself up by my bootstraps. Only Jesus can. On the other hand, I can't give up the pursuit of holiness. If detachment is the way, I have to keep on. I need to pray hard and pray more.

Holy Spirit, help me to pray.

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